I like writing. It gets your ideas and thoughts on paper, or computer screen in this case. For those of you new to my blog, you might notice that the title of the blog itself is called "Diary of a Gold Medal Dad." That comes from a series of blogs I did a few years ago for the Fatherhood Initiative. If you would like to know more about it, check out my history pages.
Let's talk about today's post, "Balance Smalance." My reason for that title is because I am beginning to think there is no such thing. I don't say that in a bad or defeated way. I am just saying we really never feel like we are balanced. We might feel that we have balance for a few seconds, but then our brain reminds us of that next task or job. Just sitting here and writing makes me think back to when I thought I had balance, but in retrospect really didn't.
When I was working at Red Foods/Bi-Lo in Lewisburg, Tennessee, I was trying to balance work, high school, family, and relationships. It was hard. I would leave school around 1:30 or 2:00 each day and go to work. After work, I would go out with my friends or my girlfriend, and then I would go home. I also had baseball and family commitments.
A few years later, I got my first house and had my first "real" job. I call it a real job because it was one I couldn't just quit. Heck, when I was a teenager, I was working at Bi-Lo and wanted to give working at Shoney's a try. I quit Bi-Lo on a Friday, went to training at Shoney's on a Saturday and didn't like it, and then returned to work at Bi-Lo on Monday. My manager told me he knew I would be back.
I got married and was working a lot of hours a week in retail management. I tried to balance my marriage and work, but it was hard. My wife and I were basically ships passing in the night and made time when we could. We would go on impromptu dates when I would get off late in the afternoon. It was difficult at times, but it was OK.
A little over a year later, we had our first of three kids. My scales of life shifted dramatically, and I changed careers to my current one in teaching. Currently, I am obtaining my Master's in supervision.
Writing is cathartic. I say all of this to say trying to achieve balance is a chase that will never end. At least in my almost 39-year-old brain. I look back at all the above times in my life and I don't every remember feeling like I had all of the plates spinning at the same time. I do however remember feeling happy and content, and I guess that's the main thing I am trying to tell myself at this point in my life. Oh, you thought this blog post was for you. Sorry to disappoint, this was for me to have a conversation with myself. I'm just letting you see the mind that is Maury.
I will share this nugget of wisdom. Do you know what HAS always been the constant in my life that has never shifted balance? It's Jesus. He loves me. He is always there for me. When I am happy, He rejoices with me. When I am sad, He cries with me. There is no balance when it comes to Jesus. He always is there and that is what makes me content. I know that no matter what this world throws my way, I can handle it because Jesus will help me keep the plates spinning. However, sometimes He lets me know that if the plates stop spinning, that's OK too. He is proud of the show no matter what.
Until next time...
Trust me, there will be a next time.